| 1. | Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally. |
| 2. | We notice and mentally record everything, you cannot trick us into thinking we said or did something we didn't. |
| 3. | Yes our favourite clothes are all the same, they fit correctly, are comfortable and practical. |
| 4. | You acting helpless is not cute. |
| 5. | Get to the point and quickly. |
| 6. | Don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you, or we'll mess up what we're doing because you've distracted us. Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire. |
| 7. | We won't get dressed up to impress anyone, if we get dressed up it is because we want to. |
| 8. | We need time alone. |
| 9. | We need to vegetate, alone. |
| 10. | We will always give you an honest answer, you have been warned. |
| 11. | If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear. |
| 12. | Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! |
| 13. | No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. |
| 14. | When it is your birthday tell us, we won't remember unless you do. |
| 15. | Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. |
| 16. | Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. But do ask for help solving it or we will think you are just telling us as part of your irritating small talk and will blank out what you are saying. |
| 17. | Don't talk during a film unless you want us to secretly plot your demise. |
| 18. | Don't sit anywhere near us when you are slurping on a drink or eating food noisily. |
| 19. | Never ever talk with your mouth full in front of us! |
| 20. | If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. |
| 21. | If we ask what's wrong and you start to complain about all your ailments that we can do nothing about, we will make a mental note to never ask you again. |
| 22. | When we say don't bother us in a morning before our first cup of tea or coffee, we mean it! Don't act all surprised when we bite your head off for failing to comply with this rule. |
| 23. | Do not tell us what we are thinking, we know what we are thinking and it is nothing at all to do with anything you could imagine. |
| 24. | Never make a decision for us, it will be the wrong one. |
| 25. | When you dramatise something to make it sound worse or better than it was, we know you are doing it, stop it! |
| 26. | Rather than repeatedly talk to you like a child, we will often just stay silent and let you make mistakes that you can learn from. |
| 27. | We would rather only have one very good friend than a 100 acquaintances. |
| 28. | Sometimes we think we are crazy for seeing things so differently to everyone else, but we soon realise it is everyone else, not us. |
| 29. | Our sarcastic humour is not meant to hurt your feelings, we just don't know how to make you realise how daft you are being without trying to make a joke out of it. |
| 30. | We hate rules, but expect you to follow ours if you want to be around us. |
