You feel alone because even though you may have a family who love you, they do not truly know you. You feel alone because all they know is the person you became for their benefit and well-being, a cruel parody that increasingly feels like ashes in your mouth. You feel alone because you cannot be you, assuming you even remember who you actually are anymore. You feel alone because you feel like there is no place for you in this world, but I promise you there is.
You feel like a failure because things like family and career and status increasingly feel like anchors holding you back. You feel like a failure because at some point in your life you gave up on being who and what you were truly meant to be, and accepted what the world told you to be instead. You feel like a failure because you have come to a point where your world feels like a paper thin excuse for a life. You feel like a failure because you feel irrelevant and that you have allowed yourself to go to waste, but I promise you that the place and purpose you craved still awaits you.
This is your life and it is the only one you will ever have, and what you do with that life is entirely up to you. There is no time limit to this and it's never too late to change. If you do not like who you are or the life you are living, stop and start to change, and that change can be in small, barely perceptible steps or in great leaps of evolution. Remember, there are no rules to this, no Idiots Guide to read or helpline to call. There is only you and those you choose to listen to.
This is a journey and, like all good journeys, the point isn't the destination but the experience you have and the places you see and the people you travel with. You must always remind yourself that when you feel lost or alone or a failure, the most important word is 'yet'.
You haven't found your place yet.
You haven't found your purpose yet.
And if you accept that fact, as you surely must, then you must also accept that the only thing that can stop you finding those things is giving up and once more burying yourself in the misery of the life you don't want and the regret of wondering who or what might have been round the next corner.
I believe the world makes us wear masks, wants us to fit into whatever arbitrary little box society says we should fit into. Thought, let alone independent thought that goes against the common wisdom, is unwelcome and actively discouraged by a world that would prefer it if we went along, from birth to death, unquestioning and with our eyes cast down.
I believe morality is largely a matter of geography.
I believe that we should find our pleasures where we can. What we feel is infinitely more important than the means by which we feel it.
I believe everyone has a place and purpose and yet few ever find theirs, and some of those who do reject that place and purpose through doubt and fear and insecurity.
I believe those who most strongly protest they are not a doormat and are not controlled by the system are the ones most likely to allow, if not actively encourage, someone to walk over them or the government/religion/society control them.
I believe we all have a chance to come to know who we really are.
I believe.
