The Evils of Group-Think and Ostracization

Have you ever been ostracized, lied about and excluded from a whole group of people?

It is more common than you think. It happened to me. Let's talk about it and why this happens.

If this did happen to you, I’m really sorry you went through that. Being targeted like that can feel incredibly painful and confusing. While I can’t know the exact motivations of those people, situations like this often arise from a mix of group psychology, insecurity, and projection:

• Group dynamics and herd behaviour: Sometimes groups form a shared identity by choosing an “outsider.” It can create a false sense of unity for them, at the expense of another person. Humans evolved to survive in groups, and belonging is deeply tied to safety. Sometimes, a group strengthens its sense of unity by excluding or targeting someone else - it’s a primitive form of “bonding.” By turning against one person, they affirm to each other: “We are the insiders; she is the outsider.” This isn’t about truth or fairness, but about creating cohesion through division. 

• Jealousy or insecurity: If they perceived something about you - your confidence, kindness, appearance, or even independence - as a threat, they might have tried to tear it down rather than face their own feelings. If you have qualities they admire or secretly wish they had - confidence, beauty, kindness, creativity, independence - they may feel threatened. Instead of admiring you or learning from you, they attempt to diminish you. Lies and ostracism become ways of “levelling the field” in their minds, so they don’t have to face their own feelings of inadequacy.

• Projection: People sometimes project their own fears, flaws, or guilt onto someone else, making you the scapegoat. Projection is a psychological defence mechanism. A person who feels guilty, envious, or insecure might unconsciously “dump” those feelings onto someone else. For example, if they feel dishonest or untrustworthy, they may accuse you of being deceitful. This allows them to avoid facing their own flaws by pinning them on an external target - you.

• Power struggles: Gossip and lies are often used as tools to gain social control or status in a group. Groups often have hidden hierarchies. One person may want to be the “queen bee” or hold social control. Gossip is a powerful social weapon: it can elevate the speaker by lowering the target. Lies and exclusion are tools to weaken you, so someone else can gain more status, authority, or influence within the group.

• Lack of empathy: Some individuals simply follow the group without questioning, out of fear of being excluded themselves. Not everyone who participates in the ostracism is malicious. Some simply follow along because they don’t want to be the next target. They may even feel it’s “safer” to side with the group rather than question what’s happening. This doesn’t excuse their behaviour, but it explains why otherwise decent people might join in cruelty - they prioritise belonging over doing what’s right.

What ties all of this together is that none of it truly reflects your worth. These behaviours are mirrors of the group’s own wounds and immaturity. The pain you feel is real, but it is not evidence of your failings - it’s evidence of theirs.

What happened says far more about their inner state than it does about you. Ostracism is one of the oldest forms of social punishment humans use, but it’s deeply damaging and unfair when done through lies.

Those people don't deserve your time and energy, only the weak and pathetic seek to bring others down to their level, because they feel powerless to rise up to what you are. So, with that in mind, take it as a compliment and move onwards and upwards.

Join our Discord for a real sense of community without all the hate and insecurity.

The Dangers of Group-Think: Lessons from “The Third Wave”

In 1967, history teacher Ron Jones conducted a bold classroom experiment at Cubberley High School in California. His students had asked how ordinary German citizens could have supported or ignored the atrocities of the Nazi regime. Instead of answering with words, Jones decided to show them.

He created a movement called The Third Wave. The rules seemed harmless at first: students had to sit in perfect posture, address each other with discipline, and salute one another with a special gesture. Quickly, the group developed a sense of exclusivity and pride. Within days, students began policing each other’s behaviour, reporting those who broke the rules, and excluding peers who refused to participate. What started as a history lesson rapidly became a living demonstration of how easily people can slip into authoritarianism.

By the end of the week, the classroom had transformed into a microcosm of a dictatorship. Students who once questioned authority were suddenly loyal “soldiers” of the movement. Others felt pressured to conform, fearing they would be ostracised if they resisted. Jones eventually ended the experiment, shocking his students with the revelation: “You experienced what it was like to be part of a fascist movement. This is how it happens.”

What this experiment reveals

• Conformity is powerful. Most people prefer to belong rather than stand apart. Even intelligent, compassionate individuals may suppress their own doubts when they see a majority moving in one direction.

• Authority is seductive. When someone offers simple rules, clear hierarchy, and a sense of purpose, groups may accept them without question - even if those rules undermine freedom and compassion. 

• Us vs. Them thinking emerges quickly. Once people feel they are part of a special in-group, they often create or imagine outsiders. Those outsiders become scapegoats, easy targets for bullying, exclusion, or worse.

• Critical thinking is abandoned. Group-think thrives when questioning is discouraged. The desire for harmony silences dissenting voices, leading to dangerous decisions made without scrutiny.

Modern dangers of group-think

Though The Third Wave was a classroom experiment, its lessons are chillingly relevant today. Group-think can take root anywhere: in politics, religious movements, online communities, or even small social circles. Once individuals stop questioning and simply follow, they become vulnerable to manipulation. This is how extremist ideologies gain traction, how cults form, and how bullying flourishes in schools or workplaces.

In the digital age, echo chambers on social media amplify group-think. Algorithms feed people only what confirms their existing beliefs, reinforcing divisions and fuelling hostility toward outsiders. The result can be mass polarisation, radicalisation, or the dehumanisation of those who think differently.

How to resist group-think

• Cultivate self-awareness: Notice when you feel pressured to conform. Ask yourself whether your agreement is genuine or just fear of exclusion. 

• Value dissenting voices: Those who disagree often see dangers the majority is blind to. Instead of silencing them, listen. 

• Strengthen critical thinking: Question not only the group’s ideas but your own assumptions. 

• Practice empathy: Remember the humanity of outsiders and resist the urge to scapegoat.

 

The lesson of The Third Wave is timeless: the line between ordinary community and dangerous group-think is thinner than we like to admit. The same psychological mechanisms that once led to fascism or persecution are still alive in every society. The challenge is not to deny this vulnerability, but to recognise it - and to consciously choose integrity over conformity, compassion over exclusion.